I did it, I paid for the “company”. I literally can’t bring myself to say to words actually, which hurts. Was a weird experience, the urge and tension was so utterly overwhelming and afterwards I felt better. Settled and clear of the anxiety. More importantly right at this moment, I queries what the hell was … Read more

Strange

Been considering writing this for a while, nearly had something last night but I was maybe too much out of balance to write something with any level of coherence. Past couple of days have been difficult, eventually got moved out and now in my student accommodation, finished my first week of all things university so … Read more

Strange

Had a great few days up until now, my student loan arrived which was exciting. I got to replace alot of my stuff that was massively out of date, a new television and GFX card to ensure everything was in working order. Now I am all set, I was also in university last week and … Read more

Whilst really enjoying the buzz of meeting Debbie the other day, it eventually tailed off and now im really into the depth of what I feared. In terms of the emotional response everything is so utterly extreme, we had been chatting back and forth usually me initiating the conversations, which even had an effect, eventually … Read more

A nightmare

Not long woke up from the nightmare of all nightmares, relatively vivid at the moment so I thought I would write it down. I remember living in a house where I was unhappy, then Gemma was there, I was invisible and entirely ignored. My friend Kelly was there I think also, then Gemmas new fiance … Read more

I have a difficult time, I was trying to have a conversation with my brother and he picks and chooses when he wishes to speak with me, decisions to simply ignore me are often made without regret or concern. One great one that set me off terribly was this ———– Me – Nice to see … Read more

Funny That

Funny how all your worst fears come true, woke up about 2 hours ago to discover that this temporary job that I had came to an end, there’s some more rejection for you. Considering the kinda shape I was in and my fears in terms of paranoia and general worry it all bloody came true … Read more

Missing Link

Bit of a whirlwind past few days, all stemmed from Friday in terms of the this stupid epilepsy, it would have been nice to have been rid of it for a while but I suppose it was overdue in terms of releasing pressure. Nice and chilled out now. In terms of after the seizure, fit … Read more

Another Post

Welcome to my newly created diary/chitchat place, an attempt to remain anonymous will be good for a while. Not many people will read this which is good also. An opportunity to voice your inner monologue perhaps? Last couple of days have been weird, been suffering a difficult few days as that critical eye buried deep … Read more