Been considering writing this for a while, nearly had something last night but I was maybe too much out of balance to write something with any level of coherence. Past couple of days have been difficult, eventually got moved out and now in my student accommodation, finished my first week of all things university so trying to get my head round that. More importantly I was at an event last night where I suffered badly, it was an environment where there was a significant amount of people that moved into student accommodation, and as a result the opportunity was provided to get to know everyone. I made the mistake of going along to that, I was there by myself on my own not knowing anyone whatsoever, all sorts of intense lonelyness set in. More intense than I have ever felt before, combine that with the prospect of when I left the party i was going home to my own bed with no one else there. There was a positive, I live with a chinese guy called nie, laid back not caring, doesent speak very much english so again leaves me kinda isolated, its a weird thing because its like I would like to have someone available to talk to in person, but on the other hand I dont want to be around people? I get confused by this conflict.