Had a great few days up until now, my student loan arrived which was exciting. I got to replace alot of my stuff that was massively out of date, a new television and GFX card to ensure everything was in working order. Now I am all set, I was also in university last week and it was a bit scarey but eventually I got kinda excited about the prospect. Had a bit of a turbulent time with regards to Debz but I have kinda stabilised that, got a bit more comfortable with everything but having a difficult time attempting to take my mind off things, obsessive approach which is difficult to handle. She is great though, plenty of exchange of jokes, when im talking to her through text its like I have known her for the past 20 years. Chilled out and she is still interested in doing the whole date thing. I also got accommodation which was exciting and gets me away from my parents.
Thats been the difficult part, my mum specifically she has been difficult to deal with. There was the age old problem of her not providing the positive reinforcement that apparently I thrive upon, “dont screw it up” or something along the lines of that was one of the comments.
Was out for a few drinks last night which was an odd experience, the experience was fine initially, we just had a care free enviroment where we just drank for a bit, eventually it got a bit out of hand and we ended up in that stupid night club diamonds. Cut a long story short, my friend “pulled” and the tail end they got intimate in the middle of the nightclub, which was fine but I found myself suddenly intensely dissapointed. Not quite sure why, I found myself alone and depleted self asteem. Today my emotion was very intense, generally had a terrible hangover and my patience for everything was even thinner.