Another unusual week, I made the decision to move on from the work I have done with Coatbridge Rovers, earlier on in the week I went to a Glasgow City match, main reason is to see Barcelona. My group of girls that I coached were there, some of them came to say hi which was great. It was a nightmare though as I was getting all sorts of terrible looks, bizarre behavior from some people, I even saw a couple speak to one of the security guards, which spelled trouble for my mind, my worry is what has been said to these people?
I met some good people that I used to work with and had great conversations, but as a result working in that enviroment of social media I had an enquiry from one of the coaches that took over from me. The enquiry included a question as to who the girls section coach was involved, next thing I know I am overwhelmed with paranoia linking the two together, with the outstanding issue with football what exactly has been said to the club, im thinking the worst? Destroyed me for an entire week, was utterly horrific so I made the decision to move away entirely.
I have been thinking of simply retiring from football entirely, the illness drove me to the point where the thoughts of drugs entered my mind. Why am I so unable to deal with this? Driven to the point of almost disability. Utterly horrendous.